My A-ha moment

I had an epiphany the other day.

I was on set working as an (unpaid) production assistant for an independent movie that's filming in Richmond.

The jobs that I get to do are pretty random. Ranging from locking up the set to fixing the male lead's tux after he goes to the bathroom.

So maybe I'm not living the dream. At least not yet.

I have no problem doing these crazy little tasks because I can see the end of the intern tunnel. I know that everyone has to pay their dues before they can actually make it, and I'm fine with that. I'm ready for anything that will get thrown at me on my path to becoming a successful filmmaker.

But that's not the epiphany.

That happened when I was standing on the sidelines watching all the professionals due their work to set up a shot, and I overheard a "tech" conversation between some of the camera crew.

And I knew what they were saying. I understood the weird terms they were spitting out because I just learned these weird terms in my cinema class. 

I'm learning all of this in my class.

The realization that what I am actually learning and doing can be applied to real movie-making world jolted me.

It jolted me awake.

And that's when I had the epiphany--

I am going to do this for the rest of my life.

If I can spend my years on a movie set doing something, anything, I am going to be happy. In fact I'm going to be more than happy, I am going to be whole.

I have never felt more validated and sure in my entire life. When I called my mom to tell her about it I felt tears welling in my eyes. I felt a little ridiculous at first, that something so little could cause this awakening and fulfilling epiphany. But I think the only thing that really matters is how I feel now.

And how I feel is the grinning from ear-to-ear happiness that only comes around sometimes. So I'm going to hang on that feeling for as long as I can.